February 9, 2023 general

We’ve all seen warnings in instruction manuals and on labels that we think are at the least unnecessary and often just wacky. Here are some examples.

From Pictures sent around the internet:

• The photo shown above. [Really? Curious now how they do laundry in China.]
• On a pizza box— “Open box before eating pizza.” [Well, on the other hand, there is fiber in the box.]

From “Dave Barry is NOT Making This Up” book:

• Instructions for the Sunbeam Dental Water Jet included this warning, “Don’t use while sleeping.” [Wouldn’t you like to see that?]

From a Forbes article:

• Nytol sleep aid caplets—”may cause drowsiness” [Well, duh!]
• On chainsaws—“Do not hold the wrong end” [Company lawyers figure that some idiot will do that, sue them and a jury that is afraid of the equipment will award the idiot $millions.]
• Rowenta’s irons— “Do not iron clothes on body.” [Shockingly, the company has had real complaints…I guess even idiots deserve protection, but they don’t seem the type to read the warning.]
• On an egg carton—”this product may contain eggs”. [Seems stupid, but probably the company had to do that because of FDA requirement related to allergies, but OMG. An example of the nonsense that can come from overly broad regulations.]
• MDW Outdoor Group’s fox/bobcat urine powder— “Not for human consumption.” [Really? What a disappointment!]
• Bialetti Casa Italiana’s nonstick pans—“Keep pet birds out of the kitchen when using this product.” [Hah! This one is no laughing matter—it should be taken seriously! Teflon fumes are not good for us but can be lethal for birds.”]
• Midol pills for menstrual cramps—“Ask a doctor before use if you have difficulty urinating due to an enlarged prostate.” [Good grief! Hmm…Wait a minute. These days with gender fluidity issues, maybe there is confusion about how anatomy works.]

From the box of Trader Joes Hold the Cone mini ice cream treats:

• “Serving size = 3 cones” [The whole point of buying these vanilla ice cream chocolate dipped cones is to have a satisfying but tiny 87 calorie dessert, not 260 calories from eating 3 of them. This label silliness is the surely the FDA at work again. Standard serving sizes have been established for each category of food to make it easier to compare. On the good side, the rule keeps manufacturers from misleading consumers by claiming low calories by using unrealistically small serving sizes. However, in this case, increasing the serving size just to match an average does not make sense. BTW, I like that the interior of the sugar cones are coated with chocolate so that they don’t leak. Note: TJ’s seasonal cone flavors are fun but they go out of stock fast.]